Relationship Combatibility Factors
Relationship and Marriage counseling can help you discover how compatible you are.
The two most crucial factors that decide how compatible you are as a couple are:
A similar degree of psychological health and maturity and a compatible ranking of Instinctual Variants.
What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the inherant energies or drive that are essentially part of us as humans. Our personality is highly engaged with and is often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.
Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual variant are preoccupied with the essential survival needs as they translate into our modern society, for example, money, food, housing, health, physical safety and comfort.
Being safe and physically comfortable are priorities, and they will often bring their supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice bad lighting, uncomfortable chairs, the room temperature, when the coffee break will be, and whether they will like the food provided. They also tend to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of basic necessities of life.
They are the most introverted of the types.
Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this kind have a strong desire for intensity of experience and affection. The forthright riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a situation they gravitate toward people they feel attracted to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can turn into intimacy junkies, often ignoring pressing matters or even basic hygiene if they are infatuated with something that has captivated them. This gives a wide ranging exploratory approach to life, but can also generate a lack of focus on one’s own priorities.
Social Instinct.
People of this variation are preoccupied on their interactions with others and with the sense of value and esteem they derive from their participation in collective activities. These include occupation, family, side activities and clubs.
On entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the power structures and subtle politics between the different people and groups. They are subconsciously focused on other people’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to touch base with others to feel safe, acknowledged and energised. They tend to love interacting with people, but they eschew intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.
Within a person, one of these Instincts will predominate. In fact the 3 variants can be ordered like the layers of a cake, with the most predominant one at the top. The weakest one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These inherent instincts play an important role in our relationships because people of the same variant tend to share values and understand each other completely, and therefore feel very compatible.
In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.
For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.
For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.
